It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Randomize
