So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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