My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
