Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
