how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
