And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
