im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
