I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I have peed in a lot of sinks
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
