Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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