It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip ๐๐๐
Your skills amaze me
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I canโt handle this place without those handjobs
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