I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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