the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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