Me too!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
