Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize