There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
