Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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