I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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