There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
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