Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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