I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of a bidet.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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