Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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