i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
