TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
