so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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