I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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