What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
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I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
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Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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