Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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