i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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