ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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