...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
