his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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