"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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