out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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