Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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