I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
