before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
