I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
