she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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