Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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