just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
