If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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