Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize