thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
it's like heaven, but drunker
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
