his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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