i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
