You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
