Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
we're making bets on your personal life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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