And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
