she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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