his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
