Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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