help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
