saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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