I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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