it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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