Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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