I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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