Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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