stop calling my apartment porn island.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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