He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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