Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
